Mom of a 6-year-old with 1 on the way begs her husband not to invite her mother-in-law on their vacation after mother-in-law moved into their 2 bedroom home with her 4 dogs: 'I really just wanted a trip away from her before this baby comes'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Apr 22, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

There are some circumstances where intergenerational homes are both necessary and beneficial. If a young couple or an elderly person does not have enough income to really support themselves in their own place, living with family can become either a temporary solution to a housing problem or a permanent one. While a young person might not be able to afford rent, they are probably more nimble than their aging parents, able to fix things around the house and help out with cooking or chores. An older family member living with their kids families can help out by taking care of the kids while their parents are at work. Even the pleasure of an older family member's company might be worth the inconveniences of another mouth to feed.

While some households house multiple generations happily, that's not the case for all. Some people just simply don't have the space to house their partner's extended family for an extended period of time.

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  • The mom in this story is one of those people. Her and her husband (but mostly her husband) have allowed her mother-in-law to walk all over them, moving into a house that should be able to fit a family of four, but not a 3 adults, 6 dogs, a child, and a baby on the way. 

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    via Felipe Salgado

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for telling my husband I don’t want his mom to come in our vacation with us?

    You can be honest, I'm okay with being an AH because my husband thinks I am. But ya see let me give ya some background. Last year my MIL was having financial struggles and was going to be let go from her job. Her two daughters didn't offer to help but my husband being the kind man
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    he is and with my okay told her she could always move out to the west coast where we live. So she agreed and she brought her 4 dogs and a bunch of her stuff and crammed it into our tiny 2 bedroom house. So in this tiny house there is 3 adults, 6 dogs, a 6 year old and we're expecting a baby in the fall. As of a few
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    Cheezburger Image 10497213440
    via Ann Schreck

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    months ago, my SIL wants to move out here and we explained that they should find their own place. We've looked at selling but the markets in no place for that but if it was just my husband and I and our kiddo, we would make it work and when baby is old enough they could share a room until we can sell this house. We
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    were planning to go on one last vacation before baby comes and I made it clear I wanted it to be just the 3 of us. My husband said it would be r de to not invite her and so he invited her. I was hoping because of her dogs she wouldn't go. But now she's making us talk to our neighbor
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    who we are friendly with about watching her dogs and she will pay. I was mad and pregnancy hormones make it hard to hide my frustration. My husband told me I'm acting like a brat because if it was my mom I'd do the same thing but I told him I wouldn't because my mom would understand. His mom, she
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    wouldn't understand. She believes he can do no wrong and she believes she's entitled. I mean this is the same person who got angry we went on a trip we planned before she moved here and didn't invite her. We can't even have discussions with her because she instantly gets defensive. I really just wanted a
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    Cheezburger Image 10497213952
    via Nickolas Nikolic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    trip away from her with my little family before this baby comes and I'm apparently the bad guy and being selfish. He told me I can be the bad guy and tell her that I don't want her to go but I already told him before he invited her and it's not my mom. I'm not the one with boundary issues. So AITAH for Telling him to tell her we don't want her to come?
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    CF_FI_Fly ΝΤΑ It's time for some marital counseling. He needs to get his mom out of the house and prioritize you and your kids. Otherwise, you don't really have much of a marriage.
    via u/CF_FI_Fly
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    tinyhumanteacher14 OP We've actually been trying but she's in between jobs and I know he's just trying to be helpful but I feel like she's overstepping boundaries and he's allowing it.
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    ThatsltlmOverThis She's not in between jobs. Her son is now supporting her full time. She's never moving out.
    via u/ThatsltlmOverThis
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    Bloodrayna This! Marriage counseling is a good idea because hubby doesn't realize he's torching his marriage. NTA
    via u/Bloodrayna
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    stinstin555 All while enabling his Mom who may likely NEVER get a job. I mean... Why would she be motivated to work again? She knows she can manipulate her son and she scores free housing for Gm herself AND her animals. OP: NTA. But let's be VERY honest, you DO NOT have a MIL problem you have a HUSBAND problem.
    via u/stinstin555
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    You need marital counseling ASAP because his behavior is not normal and his lack of enforcing boundaries is leading to the demise of your union. But your husband also needs to get individual counseling to find out exactly WHY your husband prioritizes his Mom over his wife and children.
    via u/stinstin555
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    Environmental_Art591 I'm guessing there is a reason her own daughters wouldn't help her out. They know the crop she pulls and had enough of a spine to say no. OPS husband needs to take lessons from his sisters.
    via u/Environmental_Art591
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    Feisty-Donkey She has moved into her retirement life of being supported by you guys. You now see why her daughters didn't step up- they know her better than you.
    via u/Feisty-Donkey
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    Storms_and_Rainbows NTA. Be the bad guy and just go on a trip just you and your child. Both he and his mother are ridiculous and unreasonable.
    via u/Storms_and_Rainbows
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    Mmm_lemon_cakes Send him, his mom, and kid 1 on the vacation. You stay home alone and rest. It'll be WAY more of a vacation than anything else. And tell him that mama's boy who doesn't know how to backup his wife will spend some time with his #1 woman.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
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    Disastrous-Wildcat Strange how your husband "being kind" means "being kind" to everyone but his wife and the mother of his child.
    via u/Disastrous-Wildcat
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    tinyhumanteacher14 OP In this moment, and when it comes to his mom, I get conflicting feelings from him. Sometimes he's done with her and fed up and sometimes if I b the about something she does like slamming bathroom door at 5 in the morning, he will tell me to stop complaining because I'm stressing him out. I'm conflicted so lately I've just been quiet about my frustrations with her.
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    murphy2345678 If he doesn't do something about it he is just playing you. He is telling you he is upset but he really isn't if he doesn't take action.
    via u/murphy2345678
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    Mmm_lemon_cakes Oh, you're stressing him out? He needs to be stressed out because he needs to get his ain gear and deal with his mother. He needs to ask her every day how many jobs she's applied to. And every day that number is less than ten, she gets a mark against her. 30 marks, 30 days, she's out.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
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    RandomCoffeeThoughts He knows he's caught himself in the middle, and he's taking it out on you. I'd bet your MIL has as many complaints about you, but he can't take it out on her, so you're the target. But cancel the vacation. At this point, it's already ruined.
    via u/RandomCoffeeThoughts
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    But change tactics in terms of MIL. Talk to your husband and then make him tell her. Since we are having a second and we have six dogs in this house. I'm going to need help. MIL is going to be the helper. Start creating lists of daily chores for her. Start treating her like a live in maid and nanny and she won't be able to move out fast enough. She's no longer a guest, she's now your employee.
    via u/RandomCoffeeThoughts
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    Mediocre-Avocado-846 ΝΤΑ Your opinion is valid. He may not see that because it's his mom, but if the situation was reversed, he for sure would not like his MIL around all the time (not talking about your mother specifically, people can have the best relationship with in laws but at the end of the day there is always a line). You also need to talk with him about the time when the baby is atually born. What if your MIL's dogs don't react well to the baby? What then? You'll have to move with the li
    via u/Mediocre-Avocado-846
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    tinyhumanteacher14 OP His sister is probably moving here in August which baby is due beginning of September. I told him that by then they need to have their own place because I'm only going to tolerate sh for so long. I made it very clear I want them out before baby comes and I don't want them over at our house for a few weeks after because I want space.
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
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    ThisWeekInTheRegency THEY SHOULD NEVER MOVE IN!!!!!! You don't have any room for them, for heaven's sake! If you agreed to this, then you're part of the problem. Hold a hard line on that one or else you'll be the one moving out and husband will live with his old family again.
    via u/ThisWeekInTheRegency

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family drama baby pregnancy house wife husband sister in law mother in law Travel family pregnant mom space family vacation vacation daughter
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